drag

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Submitted by pennyjane on Mon, 05/07/2007 - 3:40pm.

to renew the blog. seems things have gotten awfully quiet. i'd be interested in hearing from any and all mtf transsexuals about their personal feelings on female impersonation as entertainment. i'm not talking about drag queens or people who do drag. no moral judgement, just how you feel you are personally affected by the place of drag in our society. i specify mtf transsexuals because i am interested in their opinions. i believe there is a different dynamic involved in how crossdressers and transvestites experience drag so for this limited conversation i'd like to hear from ts's only.

i'll start. i find drag offensive and degrading on it's face. placing the image of the man in a dress up before the public as something to be ridiculed is something that i see as having a negative affect on my everyday life. although i don't personally identify as male, as an out, non-stealth transsexual it is an identity very often imposed on me from without. i have found in the three years since i began my transition that the first hurdle i have to overcome everywhere is to be taken seriously as an individual. i don't blame this on drag, it's my opinion that we enjoy drag because we have an inherent humorous spot for the man in a dress image. but i do see drag as a legitimizing factor towards perpetuating that humorous image. the humor and sexual inuendo that accompanies drag works in direct opposition to the image of the transsexual that i am trying to create in our society. that of a dignified, respectful, multi-demensional person.

i am not suggesting that we do away with drag, boycott the shows or impose any santion. i just think that this is something that should be discussed within the critical thinking among our sub-group. so, with that i'll shrink away back into my corner and put my arms over my face for protection. thanks to all and lotsa love, pj

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yep me too.

#91 On Tue, 05/08/2007 10:35am debbiej said,

Speaking as an almost 50 year old that has been hiding my TG for most of my life, the way society views M2F crossdressers has effected me deeply. I'm new to therapy so my memories have only recently been revisited. The laughter that I heard from my family when seeing Harvey Korman dressed as a woman on the Carol Bernett show kept me firmly in the closet. Its not so much the crossdresser's "fault". as the result of societies reaction to the crossdressers. Over the top, type of dressing and doing it for the laughs, is what damaged me - not the women who were expressing their inner selves. Those women, unfortunately, I never saw. They could have been a positive role model for a young "man" who saw herself as a young woman.

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yep me too.

#93 On Wed, 05/09/2007 10:05am pennyjane said,

thank you for responding debbie. i take your point about not seeing transsexual women in public. although the compulsion to go stealth is strong in us for many reasons, one reason is that as out transsexuals we often find it nearly impossible to be taken seriously. that image is so ingrained in the public eye that those who are not inclined to critical thinking on the subject often never get past it. unfortunately for us that includes a clear majority. most people have too much going on in their own lives to stop and critically examine their feelings about transsexualism until they themselves become deeply touched. it's too easy to dismiss us as that image and move on. it's for the reason you mentioned that i am adverse to stealth. somewhere along the way we have to start becoming responsible for our youth. some of us are going to have to step up and present us as not that image. if we can get to a point where we can just put a dent in the numbers that go stealth we can have a major impact on soceity. one way to cut into those numbers, in my opinion, is to clearify drag, not just to ourselves but to our whole society. righteous indignation should not be confused with bigotry or exclusivity. by honestly examining how we affect others within the umbrella group we can be of better service to each. so thank you for joining in the discussion and i hope others of goodwill and varying opinions and thoughts will do the same. lotsa love, pj

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It's so hard...

#94 On Thu, 05/10/2007 6:23am debbiej said,

It's so hard to admit to people I have this "problem" because I don't understand it myself. I agree that society needs to see us to be able to accept us but I don't know what to tell people.

For example. I was listening to an NPR report just the other day about a journalist who had a set up a forum for people like him. People with cancer. The report mentioned that in the past folks just wouldn't talk about cancer but now they can. How do you talk about your TG or TS?

I found myself wishing I had cancer so I could at least talk about it with people. There is an identified physiological characteristic - a lump, a dark spot on an xray. I would have an excuse to obsess about my cancer but people look at me like I'm nuts and I just need to see a therapist to "cure" me of my mental disorder that I have self diagnosed as Transgenderism.

So, to bring this post back on topic, is it like the chicken and the egg, or the vicious circle? This need to know the causes of why folks like us feeling like we are born in the wrong body so we can explain it to people or do we need to "get out there" and show people we exist before we can get any help from the professional community to help us find out why we exist? I'm not so sure I have what it takes to carry on this struggle to the next level. I'm not sure I have the right to drag my family along with me and put them through the pain and the suffering.

Debbie

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It's so hard...

#98 On Fri, 05/11/2007 4:04pm pennyjane said,

i am saddened. i am deeply saddened. i am almost to dispair. this is, to me, not nonsense. fear and selfishness is rampant. those who wish to speak will not. i surrender, i shall move into stealth. not because it's where i wish to be, but being an activist is just too darn lonely. those of you who have so much to give, and yet you keep it for yourselves. you arrogant, selfish people. no wonder we are where we are. i am strong but i am not heroic. i cannot do it alone. and i will stop punishing myself. i will no longer listen and give solence to the pissing and moaning of you who have not the composition for other. good luck, and goodbye. pennyjane hanson.

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Thank you for your courage and your struggle

#99 On Sat, 05/12/2007 11:49am debbiej said,

Pennyjane,

As someone who is just beginning to deal seriously with her TG after hiding it from the world for almost 50 years, I owe you a debt of gratitude. Because of people like you - I have resources that can help me begin to deal with what all this means to me, my family, my community, my job, etc. etc.

I don't know how my life will unfold but I know that you and others have struggled before me and I know that I am not alone. I don't know how this will affect my future. I don't know whether I will have the strength that you have shown in making our struggle known to the wider community. But I hope that one day I will be able to take up the baton and carry on the race that you have run for the benefit of us all.

Enjoy your respite from the struggle and know that others will carry on. Maybe not today, maybe not as you would wish, but carry on we will. And then someday you may join us once again and together we will make this world a much better place.

With deep appreciation,

Debbie

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